Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I am the Mom...

Yes, I am a mother. To three adult sons. They are 29, 26 and 24. They are smart and handsome and sometimes, even though they are grown, on occassion they need a little help. Perhaps it is about girls, or how cruel the world can be and other times it is something as seemingly simple as needing a place to land for a while...because the old saying is very true...At some point, children always come home.

This can be a real challenge for us (me and the guitarist) as our home is small. Now when I say small, I mean so small even when it is just the two of us, we often feel the walls closing in on us. We have an extra bedroom but we utilize it as a workspace and now with both of us working from home, we are not able to give up a space which we use to make a living. And there is no room to add a sleeping area to our already overcrowded 8'x10' office.

I have learned over the years that being a parent is a job that never ends. Also, it is not one I wish to ever give up but my question right now is how to be a loving but non-enabling parent to my adult children...especially when they want your help but don't want to change their behavior or make better choices. Now let me say, I am not one to swoop in and save my boys from themselves but at the same time I want to do all I can within the context of supporting them in a not financial manner but not solve their problems. Ugh! Does this job ever get easier?

My heart aches when my children are struggling and I know the best thing to do is step back and let them stumble so they (hopefully) learn from their mistakes...and of course at the same time love them to the moon and back because after all...I am the Mom.

T

No comments: