I have a sister who is so amazing and special, I have long said I want to be her when I grow up. But this is not about her. It is about my other sister. She is my best friend, is my sister by choice rather than blood and truly could not be more of a sister to me if we were born of the same parents. She is younger than me by several years but we are kindred in more ways than I probably even know. She has been my shoulder through the most wrenching and fearful moments of my life. She has been the ear who endured my tearful rantings though I know she just wanted to tell me to shut up and get a hold of myself...but she never said anything of the sort. She was honest but loving, supportive but direct and most of all, has always loved me despite myself. We have been through some crazy things, both wicked hysterical and painfully heartbreaking. We have shared so much it sometimes feels as though she has always been a part of my life...and for sure, she is part of me now. She knows my secrets and my joys. She knows me and I trust her with all that I am...and more importantly all that I am not. I can only hope I too, have been such a friend to her.
And to you now-Forgive my ignorance and the times when I am selfish. For not picking up the phone if you needed me. For the foolish mistakes I made and thank you for the times when you stepped in to fill the gap. For anything no matter how small which was less than you deserved from me, please forgive me...
My emotion for her cannot be measured in words anymore and that was inflated just over a week ago when I was witness to her becoming a wife...to a guy whom I love too. And they will soon be first time parents.
There is so much new in both our lives over the past several months...she is a wife and soon will become a mother; I have reunited with "the man who got away" and he is most certainly the love of my life as I always thought him to be...and sooner or later the past must give way to the new. These days she and I only see one another sporadically though we only live an hour apart. Life paths, love and new expectations often don't yield to our old life of laughter, music and time at the hearth and I must admit I can feel the absence of her.
Though we don't always agree, we have never had words and never once has there been a thought of what my life would be without her. Instead, she is giving me more of her to love. I am waiting with each new day wondering if it will be the one when I hear a voice tell me her child has arrived. As I type these words, my heart is full and my eyes swelling with emotion.
It is a privledge to be your sister...
I love you, JJ
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